my next post should be about. However, in light of recent events (The body-shaming of Gigi Hadid, Cheryl Cole and Raven Symone) my topic became clear. Society tends to pit us against each other. Everyone around us seems to have an opinion about what’s best for us. But really, they have no idea. With the exception of the first two years of my life, I have always been a curvy girl. I didn’t always appreciate it, but I have come to embrace it and adapt an “I don’t care” kind of attitude. As I get older, more and more people tell me that I’m fat, that I need to lose weight, that I’ll never be accepted in society. Someone went as far as to tell me that I was a black girl, so I couldn’t be fat because it makes it even harder to find a job. I was like, “Wow I’m twenty years old, busting my butt in college for a better future and this is what I get? Maybe I should just drop out. Will I be welcome on Wall Street if I’m not a size four?”
I’m so sick and tired of people using “fat” or “skinny” as an insult. It’s the curvy girls who get hit the hardest. We can’t let them tell us how we should look because that ain’t their problem. Being curvy isn’t a problem. Embrace the skin you’re in. There’s no problem with being a little thicker; no problem at all. And, unfortunately, with the age of technology, people can body-shame others with the press of a button. Last year, I posted a picture of myself on my birthday and someone commented, “Beautiful, but you would look better if you lost some weight.” How rude can you be? These things don’t bother me anymore, but when I saw it, my heart sunk. I’m still human and these things are hurtful. I would love to see it go the other way for once. No one ever says, “You’re too skinny, you should gain some weight.”
Going out to eat always makes me uncomfortable. I’m afraid people will say, “You already big, why do you need to eat more?” Which, believe it or not, has happened to me. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I am who I am and that’s okay. I go to the gym regularly for me, and not for anyone else. I go to be healthy, not lose weight. I’m on this journey to be fit, not a size four. I am naturally curvy, and I always will be. So if that’s a problem, I’m not sorry because I can’t change that. I’ll always be a curvy chick, no matter what.
There are more important things in life than how you look. Like I said before, you can’t win all, only some. I don’t want you guys to think that my confidence is bulletproof. I still struggle still with myself, and I love to wear black because it makes me look better. But when you look at my pictures, you’ll see nothing but a confident woman! It took a long time to feel comfortable enough to start taking pictures.
I’ve encountered body shaming in my own family, and when I get mad, they just say they want me to be healthy. I think they really do, but I’m still just trying to figure out who I am on the inside. Actually, I should thank them for saying that. Because if they didn’t, I wouldn’t have the thick skin I have today. We can’t all look the same; we need variation. The world is about being different, bold, and happy with yourself.
It’s really unfortunate that we have social media: a place where people who have no lives go to be bullies. I wish social media was used to spread a more positive message to young girls. It’s a shame that negativity gets more light than positivity. Some people just enjoy being miserable, that’s all.
Embrace yourself, love yourself, accept yourself. Be CONFIDENT in yourself!!!