“Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
I’ve been procrastinating about writing this post for a minute but I’m determined to post it today. I’ve been battling for the past few weeks with making a decision that’s important and will change my life. What I figured out while trying to make a decision is that I can’t live my life in the fear of not knowing what is to come? My fears have taken over life and often has me second guessing myself. Meanwhile I know deep inside what it is I want to do…
Before I finally made up my mind I spent so many sleepless nights, being indecisive about making a decision; meanwhile I knew what the answer was. Sometimes your instinct tells you what to do but the fear of not knowing or failing stops you. You might get the feeling that you’re being over dramatic and it is not necessary to make a life changing decision. Many voices may try to speak over your conscience. But don’t listen to those voices, it’s the devil playing with you. I allowed myself to pray on it and make sure that I am not missing the signs that are being sent to me.
Honestly the decisions that I’ve made is the best one that I think I’ve made in a while. One thing I didn’t do was allow people’s opinions to overshadow what I wanted to do. I’m open to listening to others but I made it the top priority for me to make the final decision. Seriously, I went to my cousin’s house, we started talking about life and the things we wanted to do. She made me make a list of the things that matter to me the most and what area I wanted to work on the most. After making my list, I went home and cried my eyes out reading it over and over. I literally kneeled down to my knees and prayed while listening to my favorite Haitian gospel song. From then on I had the confirmation that I was making the right moves.
I woke up the next morning and turned my life upside down. Literally upside down .I changed every plan that I had. It felt like a weight had been lifted on my shoulders. When I told people about my plan they were like, “you’re crazy it’s a waste of time”, I would always answer by saying “thank you for your concerns but in the end it’s my choice.” I’m grateful for my mother because we talked over the phone for hours and she was like “I’m behind you all the way. No matter what mommy is here”. As happy as I was to have her blessings, I knew I would have done it W/O it. I’m grateful for every single friend and family member that I have because they are cheering me all the way, even though some don’t agree. What I love about them is that they try to understand and respect my decision instead of walking away. They were honest and told me how they felt and I’m grateful for their support.
I watched new movie Creed and what I took from it is: you make your own decision. You are responsible for making you dreams a reality. You get up and work for it… Watching Adonis (played by Michael B Jordan) fighting until the end to make it on his own was inspiring. He had to work harder to show his trainer Rocky that he could do it. Adonis was persistent through it all, even when no one believed that he could to rise to his father’s level. He left everything he had, by everything I mean his job and lavish lifestyle, to achieve his dream. The moral of the story is that he went full force after his dream, even if it required that he change a few things in his life. Changes are good and always a good idea even though it may seem scary. I mean it’s scary but it is worth it. When I was done watching this movie I was grateful because it help stand behind my decision that much more. Granted, I’m taking a leap of faith BUT it’s worth every breath of me. My healing journey started right away. At that moment I felt at ease and most of all happy. When my dad used to say “everything that you wants requires sacrifices” I used to laugh, but now I fully understand it.
Your life, your decision ❤️. Be BRAVE, BOLD, and STRONG.
PS The journey is worth it 🙂
Lady Sergine ❤