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How Could You? Why Should You ?

Sexual Abuse!!

I don’t know how one can overcome this, because all one can remember is the abuse; you felt it was okay even though you know deep.

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Inside it wasn’t right. First hand, I know overcoming it will take time. I’ve never talked about it in my life beside my parents and a few people who knows about it. I’ve been thinking about it lately because I was put in the situation again but Thank You Lord I’m Older and can defend myself wayyyyy better now. FUCK IT there’s no way in the world I’ll let this happen to me anymore. For the longest I felt powerless in situation like this, it seems like I can be wearing a long dress where I cover myself and still got harass like what’s the freaking point of telling me and other to cover themselves so people doesn’t attack them when it stills happen when you do.

What goes behind someone mind to attack children who have no idea of what’s going on. I was very young when it happened to me and to tell you the truth I was scared to tell my mother but my nanny did tell my mom when she heard it. Which looking back I was grateful I had her at the time. He was like I had a dream that everyone at my house was gone and you came. My nanny heard him say that, so she came outside like a gangster And told me that I need to come inside. After that, she rushed upstairs to tell my mom. So it was such a huge deal that I hate all the noise about it. One thing I’m grateful for is that my parents protected my name and my innocence. I was only 8 years old; he was someone that my family trusted.

I know it’s hard when you’ve been touched without your consent but you are not responsible for anyone’s act. Don’t let it define you and please allow yourself to feel the pain so you can grow through it. Believe it or not you’ll have the right support system if you talk to the right people.

It didn’t happen to me only once but with more than two people . I’ve decided not to tell my parents about one. I chose not to talk them about it and it took a lot of me to write. But my motto has always been to help my peers.

I was young and helpless when it happened and I couldn’t defend myself properly. Now there’s no way in hell I’ll let someone touch me without  permission. Because of what happened now, I hate it when people touch me. I don’t care who you are. It will irkkkkkkk my nerves. That’s how much I hate that. The thing is I’ve never properly dealt with what happened. I just closed my eyes on it. If I could go back, I would tell my brother and family in a heartbeat. Nevertheless, I’ve closed that chapter by just writing this. I’ve been angry, unhappy, sad, any emotions you named it. I now understand who I am as a person. I’ve always found it weird that I was like that but now I get it, I get it.

Remember this my loves: you have the power, they are cowards, heartless motherfuckers, excuse my language but that’s who they are. Live your life and go after your dreams so that they know. They didn’t win. Say one more time FUCK YOU!

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(Photo Credit! The good quote Instagram )

They can’t stop you from achieving what you’ve always dreamed of. If you let it define you maybe then they would have won but otherwise they can’t. People who are close to me will be shock reading this because they have no idea that I’ve been through it. It’s not something that I’m proud of but I’ve came to the realization it’s a part of me. What I’ve been through I can say that I’ve came out stronger and better, that through my journey I should help others. There are days when I want to pretend that this never happened because when I think about it I GET SO SICK To my stomach. But I’ve been praying a lot about God guiding me through a better space as well as giving me the peace that I need.

I know it’s hard, it’s sickening, it’s like suicidal when it happens. Especially when you’re young and powerless. Know that it’s going to BE OKAY! No matter what you’ll get to that better space.. Keep going on that journey for the better.

Sending all of you my SEXUAL ABUSE victims some positive vibes! Prayers are up as well

Be BRAVE Always ! 

Lady Sergine ❤️

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