Appreciation Wednesday? Maybe it is! I’ll make it a new thing on the blog.
I went out yesterday to see someone and while we were at it, I started thinking about my life and how I’m not where I’m supposed to be but the good thing is that I’m well and following the path I’ve created while following my heart. I’ve been feeling really sad that I didn’t graduate last year or even this year. I was thinking that I haven’t accomplished anything serious in my life. But my friend, she had me look at it at a different perspective.
She told me that I knew I needed a break from life and school and if I didn’t it could’ve had a different ending. In my rush to graduate in order to honor my father and mother, I didn’t see that I was self destructive because at the rhythm I was going I could have burn me really bad. Mind you, she wasn’t the 1st person who told me this. One of my guidance counselor told me the same. She said, “Sergine, my advice to you it to take a year off to take care of yourself”. I gave her a strange look when she said it & kept it moving 😑. It wasn’t the smartest move and I wasn’t in the best shape of health. Everything was going left.
After so many plans that I’ve drawn, prayers and thought, in December I packed my bag to moved back home for 3 months but I ended spending 5 months. Which have been the best decisions ever. If I could do it all over again I would have done it a little earlier.
Moral of the story is that you need to know when to pause & take care of yourself because if you don’t, you’ll have nothing left to give to anyone or yourself for that matter. I’ve done so much of a soul searching while being here. I’ve allowed myself to grieve, be hurt, angry, sad and all of the emotions for that matter. MOST OF ALL I’ve grown so much 😭😭(Tears of joy, & of deliverance) . No one understands my move home and I’m okay with that because only I know how much of an impact it made in my life. Can’t even lie I’ve said many times that I wish I didn’t come home but that’s only when something bad happens lol. But I stick with it. Which I’m grateful for. It was just the process of me healing.
I know there’s more to life than having a diploma that you won’t be able to enjoy because you’ve crashed so bad. I’ve chose health, because it’s important to me that I didn’t become dependent on pills or anything for that matter.
I have not fully recovered yet and it’s a long process but I’ve never been at my best in such a long time. I actually feel like getting up in the morning to do things and I even volunteered while here. I’ve overcome depression (that’s for another blog post) and I’ve done soooo much while being home. My foundation is so close to being launch.
I am an accomplished college student, maybe I’m a year behind of graduation but that doesn’t matter cause I know where I am heading. I’m a young girl whose 21 years old soon to be 22. I have a blog that I consider a success because of the amount of feedbacks I’ve received. I’ve found a bit of my old self that I’ve been looking for. I am working on some other projects that I chose to keep in the low! I’m doing fine yes I am doing fine. For the 1st time in a long time I TRULY Mean it! I am thankful for my family, most of all GOD for guiding, for being my Safe place. I’ve prayed so much for this to happen and now it’s happening. Haiti saved me from destroying myself. While at it, I have to be honest my friends in New York are the best, they’ve always supported me. Some of my family members were always there for me and like I said not everyone fully understood me that was OK!
YOU are important, take care of yourself and appreciate you! Don’t rush anything and work at your own pace! Stop looking at people who lives differently than you. Believe me you don’t fully know what goes behind close doors. So you are doing fine by taking it slow, no worries you’ll make it. Take care of yourself so you can have something to give. Find some things that keep you going. I don’t know what might be your thing but prayer, meditate, or do anything that will help.
This psalm is one of my everyday prayer
“Psalm 16:11:You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy. In your right hand there are pleasures forever more.” Because I do believed he will show me mercy, and mercy as well. I choose to turn my life to him .
You are worth it, so take care of YOURSELF 😘!!
Lady Sergine 🌹💋