You must be wondering how kids that lose their parents feels and how they cope? The thing is, I’m sure we all have wished to have a guideline of some sort that could actually tell us what to do from A to Z… but to be honest, we don’t.
3 years later, my pain is as big as it was the day he died. I’ve accepted the fact that he is no longer here, but there are days when you just can’t help but cry. Every year around June, I get extremely anxious, nervous and on edge. I was a daddy’s little girl and forever will be. This man spoiled me with everything that I needed and loved me like a father should. I don’t take anything less from anyone. Not too long ago I was talking to someone and I was like: I know what love is because my dad loved me and I’m not going to allow anyone to treat me any less.
June 21st, 2014 is a day that I will never be able to forget. If you told me that my father would have died so early I would have never believed you. My prayer every night used to be: “God please don’t let my parents died while I’m away”. I guess God knew seeing him would have made it harder for me to recover, or I don’t know…
Every day I’m faced with new challenges: some good, some bad, and some are simply the new happenings in my life. I get the urge to call him, as I always did, to share these challenges with him so he could, as usual, remind me how crazy I sound. The thing is, no one in this world knows or understands me like my father does. It gets really lonely out here without having him to call or talk too.
For some reason this year I felt his absence way more than ever. So many things have happened, Uri’s birth, Fa had a baby, Sassoue graduated high school, Pouy & Tay are done with school in a way. But no matter how happy we are, we miss him …
Papi, my dear Sergogo, Dad I’m mad at you for saying goodbye, for not talking to me one last time, I’m mad at you for leaving me. I’m just mad at you for dying. Even though I know it wasn’t your will, but I guess I’m looking for someone to blame over God. BUT Dad, I love you, I adore you, I honor you in my everyday life. I thank you for giving me everything while you were here. I thank you for loving me even when I was a BRAT! You took a part of me when you left. I hope that you are proud of me. Happy Birthday, you’re probably sitting in heaven laughing with the angels. I hope wherever you are, that you know I never stopped loving or thinking about you.
Until we meet again! I’ll never stop loving you or missing you. Love you. I’ll blow a candle out for your birthday today. Adoue said he misses you. Your mom & wife miss you. Your brothers & sisters still get emotional talking about you. Your nieces & nephews think of you every day. Moumoune misses you. Your students talk about you every day. Your children miss you and think of you every day. Every time I see someone, all they do is talk about the amazing man you were. Thank you for having such a huge impact in our lives…
We love you dad