Came home early today from work because I wasn't feeling too well. If you know me then you know that I work 24/7 lol sometimes I go days w/o seen, my roommates,that's how much I work.
For some reason, I couldn't sleep tonight, So I was indulging in YouTube videos but on my page a bunch of Christians channels popped up, after watching one video.I kept on watching videos because I couldn't help it.
As I was watching I kept thinking about my life, of ways I can improve and all the things that I want to do. I was thinking about all the distractions that are holding me back & the videos were seriously hitting home😩.
Lately, I felt unease, aggravated, lol like my life is a turmoil, to be honest, nothing is new. You would think I have some deep issues but I don't. I have been thinking about going social media free for the next few months but I have some interviews to prepare for but I think I'm using them as an excuse lol. My Facebook and Twitter are already gone, except for snaps and Instagram. I made a promise to myself that I was going to step away for a while.
We all go through things in life but we choose to ignore some or pretend that they are not really happening . But for how long you going to keep running away from them? At one point you have to stop ✋🏾.
I get in these moods where I get anxious by just been on social media which is weird. I was thinking "OH gosh I need some quiet time where I just focus on me and God." It's hard when you always have things to do but tonight I know that I need to step away from all of them. I am letting my phone off for the next few weeks, I am not going to pay for it lol. Some will say it's a bit extreme but you must do what is good for you. We live in a world where so many things are keeping us away from what is real. And we are so deep into it that we don't see a problem.
Lately, I have been feeling like God is so far away from me and I know it's because I am distracted. I have so many things keeping me away from him and my goals. I grow up knowing God, it was super important to my parents that we have him in our lives daily. Listen we did stay away from him for a long time. I know I did but I am working on getting it back to where it was or to an even better place . For me to do so it require a lot of sacrifices I am up for it.My goals in 2017 are to be better than I was last year, to improve myself daily.
I have been distracted by social media because I go hours just scrolling down IG, Facebook, Snapchat doing nothing watching my old videos when I could use the time to workout or write a blog post. I have allowed people drama to be my drama, I am such a passionate person when it comes to people that I TRULY LOVE. Also, I think the way you feel sometimes is a part of the distraction when it comes to anger, jealousy, etc. Mines are anger and the pettiness in me lol. Netflix is another one, I can spend my day off watching it w/o even talking to anyone, I usually have my phone on do not disturb.
ASK YOURSELF this question, WHAT IS /ARE my goals (S ). IN LIFE? When you are done answering it, ASK YOURSELF this now: " WHAT IS /ARE DISTRACTING ME FROM ACHIEVING IT/THEM "? Keep in mind the distractions can be anything from boys to foods. When you figure it out, come up with solutions and do better . I agree it is not going to be easy because we think that we need them to be okay but we don't. Don't give up, just find a way to keep going. I step away for spiritual, and sanity reasons. You might need to do it just to breathe and other stuff. Occasionally, take care of yourself. So you don't feel alone I will blog about the journey. I plan on fasting too, that will be interesting to see. Plus we can use this time to be more PROACTIVE(WORKOUT, HAVE REAL CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIENDS, SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, WORK TOWARD THE DREAM)!!!!
I will leave you with this " HE WILL CARRY WHEN YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO WALK " 2 Cor 12: 9. When I was shopping for a phone case I saw this verse on the phone case and I knew it was the one.❤️
Ps I've decided not to do too much editing because I wanted this to be raw 💋