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Happy 14th of February

In a woman’s world, her mid 20s to early30s are the most stressful years of her life.Why, you ask? Because these are the prime years when society feels the need to know every little detail about her life. Where is she in life in general? Where is she, career wise? Does she live at home or with her parents, does she have roommates, or does she have her own place? And last but not least, what is her marital status? When it comes to that last question, especially on a day like Valentine’s Day, many women can happily sing “Me and my man sitting on a tree; K I S S I N G!” while others wouldn’t even hum about it. And some of those singers are being muted because they are not sure which box to check when they’re asked about their love life while others dare to hum because they are in complete denial. 

For this Valentine’s Day, wouldn’t it be nice if all women could simply know which box fits her marital status best and confidently claim it? They’d be called “Boxes of Love” and each box would represent a category of women regarding their love life. Box 1 is for the “Single against my will” type of woman. The title says it all and might even suggest that such woman is inexperienced when it comes to love affairs. Many women (independent or not) who would prefer to come home from work and scream as they walk through the door “Honey, I’m home!” are being greeted by the dry air or echo of their place or by some hungry pet. Those women may be satisfied in the career category, but theydefinitely desire to change their love life. They might not need a man, but they certainly want one. 

Next we have Box 2, which is for the “Single and proud” type of woman. This woman lets you know that single she is, and single she plans to be, either by dating here and there with no intention on settling down or by not dating at all. Most of them tend to have a callous motto nicely put as “be selfish and focus on the self” and they preach it all day long. Some of those women, deep down, secretly wish to be happily taken, but have been hurt in the past or have witnessed enough drama and therefore opt to focus on what they can somewhat control: their career and pleasuring the self. And others simply do not wish to be tied down for no particular reason.

Moving on to Box 3, which is for the “Hurt and afraid, but still looking” type of woman. This woman is either a veteran in the love category or is afraid because of what she’s seen and/or heard. She is experienced enough to recognize and distinguish “the forever Netflix and chill” guy from the “I made reservations at… Picking you up at…” kind of man. This woman, unlike the inexperienced one from box 1, has some knowledge when it comes to the love games due to her personal adventures. She understands that some men come to heal and build while others come to hit and run. It’s a frustrating process but she’s willing to give it a try and go through it over and over until she comes across “theperfect man”.

We now reach Box 4, which is a very tricky one and it’s called “Situationship”. A situationship resembles a relationship but make NO mistake, it’s far from one! It’s that weird space between being single and not single. It’s a “hit and walk slowly towards Neverland”. With that being said, some women usually find themselves in these situationships when the man fails to properly answer the question “What are we?” and refuses to act accordingly. And other women end up there by ignoring the red flags when it comes to, what I like to call, their fellow lover in hopes that their situationship card will be revoked and will be upgraded. They’re convinced that their situation is better than not having anyone at all.

Lastly, we have Box 5, which is the “Relationship” box and what I like to call the “forbidden fruit” box. It is very much wanted, but it certainly surprises the applicants by the number of baggage it carries. Lots of women want to check intothat box due to the security it brings, but fail to recognize the amount of work it requires. Just like Adam and Eve, they are usually not ready for the outcome or the roller-coaster kind of experience it imposes. This box is reserved for the ones with an official significant other. Reserved for the ones that choose to risk it all and put their time, their energy, and their trust into someone who has proven to be worthy. Reserved for the ones who are willing to take a leap of faith and rely on someone else in the name of love. Reserved for the ones that want to fight every day and are willing to forgive even in the most difficult situations just to make it work. This box, although envied by many, is reserved for the ones that understand clearly that love, itself, doesn’t hurt. But surely, wecan all agree, that it does, sometimes, bring pain. 

In conclusion, it does not matter which box you identify with. However I personally think that you need to know which one describes your love situation the best. That way you can claim it, own it or change it if needs be. Do as much as you can about it. Go out more, put yourself out there, or leave the situationship that brings more bad than good into your life. Don’t waste timecomparing your life to anyone else’s. Try to change it if you’re unhappy. It’s amazing how our neighbor’s grass always seems to be greener than ours. But what you don’t realize it’s the worms they had to chase off their backyard or the amount of pesticides they had to invest into in order to enjoy their grass the way they wanted it to be. Yes, take it from me; being in a relationship is not always pretty. And I am not saying you have to put up with everything they do or say. I am just saying that it takes work; thus it requires people that are willing to do the work. To my single ladies that are interested in being in a relationship, use this time to know your worth and learn about what you want and don’t want in a potential partner. By doing so, when Prince Charming comes, he’ll be able to see your price tag from his horses, no glasses or binoculars needed. And to my Box 5 ladies, Bob Marley said it best “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

Happy Valentine’s Day 

unapologetically, DIAG

Thank you so much to my girl DIAG for this beautiful post . I’m so grateful to have some amazing writers that are my friends. Happy Valentine’s Day from us! 

Xoxo

Lady Sergine🌹💋

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